Sunday 24 July 2016

Depression and I

Dear reader

Where do I begin? Years ago I created this blog as a space for me to express myself when I was in a dark place. Anxiety consumed my life, and blogging gave me back some of the self worth that I was lacking so heavily. And so I am here again, in a dark place. And I am choosing to write about it in such a public way because I do not know what else to do.
      Depression has taken hold of me with both hands and shaken me up and now I am struggling, so much, to cope with my life. The confidence I worked so hard to pull back has been snatched away from me. I feel incredibly alone despite the support network I have and I am so, so incredibly tired. And so, I turn to my old friend, the blog. A new name and a new start and a blank page. Not to try and cure depression or anxiety, just to give me a distraction, a focus, a place to write, share photos, regain a part of me I feel like I've lost.
    I know this is a battle so many people are fighting. I am lucky. People want to help, they are doing everything they can. I just have to help myself a little too. Mental illness is so easily brushed under the carpet and it terrifies me to put myself in a position where I am vulnerable. But no one can judge me as much as I can judge myself, so why the fuck not?
    The first blank page is filled, let's see where this takes me.

3 comments:

  1. Hey Leah, its lovely to see you back, but I wish the circumstances were better. I look forward to your next posts, and hope we can all make you feel better about yourself. Having experienced the same as you in the past, I felt like the world was closing in around me, but I know the importance of good friends and how they can do a lot to affect your mood. I hope I and the other people who read your blog can help you love yourself. Missed you loadss (even if ya don't remember me) and welcome back xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thankyou so much for your lovely lovely comment, it means so much. And I do remember you! Are you still blogging? How are things? This comment made my day 😘

      Delete
    2. So sorry I took ages to reply! Things are great thanks- I actually haven't blogged in a while, but I'm seriously thinking about starting it up again, really miss the atmosphere and the people... Do you think I should? I'm so glad my comment made your day- hope to talk more soon! xx

      Delete

keep the sweet comments comingxo