I LIKE COLOUR NOW

Outfit details

Culottes, Primark 

Iron maiden tee, Charity shop

Choker, Zara

Boots, New look

Jacket, Missguided

No I'm not a die hard Iron Maiden fan, pls don't hate me. Actually no, if you are a band tee snob, jump off that high horse and hang with the rest of us who 'just think it looks cool'. Okay, I mean I know who they are, and I didn't let an overpriced high street store charge me an extortionate price for this (holla at my local charity shop for coming though) but my point still stands. Fashion is about wearing what makes you feel good, you do you boo.

For a really long time now, I've felt like the clothes I've been putting on have been wearing me, rather than the other way around. I put myself into a box, and then couldn't get out. Don't get me wrong, I love to pull on a pair of skinny black jeans and a black crop top, but after a while it starts to make me feel, I don't know, sad. Over the last six months, while i've been trying my hardest to help myself with my mental health, i've realised colour is something I need in my life. So heads up, if bright colours aren't for you, i'd click off of this right now, ya girl has CHANGED.

Hence why this missguided jacket pretty much changed my life, because every time I wear it, I feel good. Maybe a little dramatic, but you get the gist. I like orange, I like bright blue, I do still like black, but for right now, give me sparkles and shiny things and colour. It's pretty much a love story. Fuck you Romeo and Juliet, Leah and her turquoise jacket are here to stay.

An actual outfit post omg 700 years later

    Outfit details

          Mom jeans, Primark (actually blue but I was feeling the black and white)

Turtle neck crop, H&M

Fishnets, Primark

Vans, gift

Choker, Zara

Awkward poses, ALL ME HONEY

Basically, hello. Again. So I decided on a whim that restarting this blog was something I actually wanted to give a shit about again, so here we are. I used to love creating outfit posts, fashion is an interest that has never left me, even when i've been sat in my pajamas lacking any motivation to get out of bed. (high five depression u the one) And so, I bring you a v v awkward first outfit post in like 7,000 years, but still. Ya girl tried okay?

     Also who else has fallen victim to the whole fishnet trend? Feel slightly like a tit because LOL this girl is no 'insta baddie' but for like two mins I felt kinda cool and happy with myself. Please ignore the super cringe posing, I haven't done this in a loong time and someone took these photos for me. No more awkward bedroom snaps, well, at least not for now. Oh and also shoutout to bae for buying me these platform vans, for once flat shoes don't make me feel like an absolute idiot (boots 4 lyf amiright) 

    Well, that's that, first blog post done. I know I am just a chubby lil 19 year old and I have no place in the blogging world, but its making me feel passionate about something again, which is all I can ask for right now, tbh.  

Depression and I

Dear reader

Where do I begin? Years ago I created this blog as a space for me to express myself when I was in a dark place. Anxiety consumed my life, and blogging gave me back some of the self worth that I was lacking so heavily. And so I am here again, in a dark place. And I am choosing to write about it in such a public way because I do not know what else to do.
      Depression has taken hold of me with both hands and shaken me up and now I am struggling, so much, to cope with my life. The confidence I worked so hard to pull back has been snatched away from me. I feel incredibly alone despite the support network I have and I am so, so incredibly tired. And so, I turn to my old friend, the blog. A new name and a new start and a blank page. Not to try and cure depression or anxiety, just to give me a distraction, a focus, a place to write, share photos, regain a part of me I feel like I've lost.
    I know this is a battle so many people are fighting. I am lucky. People want to help, they are doing everything they can. I just have to help myself a little too. Mental illness is so easily brushed under the carpet and it terrifies me to put myself in a position where I am vulnerable. But no one can judge me as much as I can judge myself, so why the fuck not?
    The first blank page is filled, let's see where this takes me.